Here's my interview with Sheryl Underwood!

Life, Love and the pursuit of non-BS moments!

Have you ever had a moment where you truly wish to get upset about something... but then, like a bolt of lightning, you realize that it ain't worth it???! Those moments have been coming ever so frequently since I moved to Birmingham. Clarity is a BEAST, ya'll!!! When you discover purpose in every interaction and in everyday life, it makes waking up and breathing so much easier to do.

Now, if I'm going over your head with the whole "happy, happy, joy, joy" thang... sorry - but it's sooooo real! I love it when I finally get a lesson down and am able to really apply it. Say for instance: "If you know the true nature of a creature, why do you question it???" That's been a hard one for me to grasp, but if you know someone in your circle is suspect with helping you move forward in your life - why do you keep expecting their help?! You just set yourself up for disappointment! Don't do that!

Most folks don't realize that everything you need to succeed, you already possess. Now, it's just a point of preparing yourself and taking time to do the work. Anything worth having is worth working for (thanks Trone) and your success and happiness is no exception.

When you find some down time, start writing out what you really want. Some desires may seem fanciful, but the sky's the limit!!! These are your dreams - big or small! I've even gone as far as to write down that I want an above average, healthy, and fulfilling sex life with my husband - nahhhhh, I ain't married, but I ain't leaving nothing up to chance either. Plus, when I write it down, I also hold myself responsible for MY happiness - no one else.

Look, BS is going to come, but how you bounce back and handle your own emotions the determining factor on how the whole situation plays out! You have the power to turn everything around - play your position and as my boy Martin says, "Ride this b*tch till the wheels fall off"!

Be blessed

"Why you wanna change me" by Ruben Studdard...but not really

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

-- Dr. Seuss (via Elena)

Today is the first day of many more to come... if one is blessed in this way.

With the days I'm blessed to live, I want to do so, in a way that allows me to be flexible. Flexible in the sense that I'm open to how change manifests itself and I'm not afraid to "change" with it. Steadfast, but flexible... Most likely the reason I don't believe I'm good at long term commitments (at this time). There's too much pressure to perform up or down to someone's unrealistic expectations in a lot of relationships these days. These relationships survive because folks are afraid to appreciate the moment and live in truth.

My truth today consist of: Why can't I love you like you are and not try to change you? Strange but an honest process that I've been spending some time mulling over. I have found the most difficulty dealing with men when "A - My expectations of a man didn't line up to what he really was", and "B - That's not really what I say or think I want, sooooo I'll just change him". He won't mind... The HELL HE WON'T!? Talk about "ugly acting"... Act like you trying to change a man and see if he doesn't turn into the biggest problem you've ever met; but the sad part to all that... you helped create that monster! Real and authentic change is always self imposed.

But, back to my point: It has been very liberating (though I admit, confusing sometimes to others) loving folks in the present. Not expecting them to solve a problem, make me happy, cure cancer or otherwise. Because the reality of the matter is, I don't want someone to feel they have to change me in order for them to be happy. I'm no where near perfect, but I walk around each day with a sense of divine perfect imperfection. As cute as I think I can get some days, a sista will still damn near break her neck falling up some stairs!! lol! But, deeper than that, accept that I'm a work in progress and that I'm not here to hurt, lie or cause any extra problems... I think that might work as a disclaimer.

I want to live my life free of worrying whether or not a man is being faithful or not. I can either wait on the perfect mate or assist in creating a place where a man and I can work on making it ALL good. I want to live my life free of trying to outdo someone's expectations of me, day in and day out (and that means friends too)! I will live my life as one big beautiful symphony! I get to pick the music - some times. But everyone plays their part and it's beautiful when I need it to be...

translation: genuine communication. I will end that thought there.

No matter how anyone else perceives it, your life is still a place that should be honored. Within that assurance, there should be nothing you have to change about yourself that isn't helping you become a better person. Think about it.

Be blessed

Ruben and his new wife!

I would love to go through this whole introduction of WHO I AM and WHERE I'M FROM, but I have so many other interesting things I want to talk about with YOU. My past is cool, but being here in Birmingham at this time in my life is so wonderful. You and I will get to know each other through this correspondence. Hopefully, I can pass some good insights and information on AND hopefully you can teach me some things as well. If this is your first time experiencing "A BLOG", welcome and you'll get the hang of it! Just follow the others and don't be afraid to express how you feel. Not into censorship, but instead fairness. Everyone else, you know the drill! Enough of the formalities...

I noticed something in my spirit the other day ya'll that kind of set me back on my toes for a minute. I don't know where you are in your spiritual walk, but I make mistakes on a constant. Trying to control my MIND and my MOUTH are a full time job some days. I hate complaining, but I find myself fussing about the "littlest nothing". Have you ever noticed how you can be straight all day, and then one little thing will ruin an otherwise cool day? It can be work, home or everything else. You allow yourself to get irritated (and yes I mean "You" allow - we'll come back to that in another blog) and then you unleash that negative energy onto someone else. The thing that I saw in myself the other day was the capacity to administer venom instead of LOVE. Let me break that down because we're just meeting and as much as I can express my true intentions, I want you to walk away with a clear understanding of what I really mean. I made light of a friends situation and I could tell they were upset with me. That was never my TRUE INTENTION. The truth can often be told in a joke, but it still doesn't make that truth or THAT joke funny! Ya'll, my conscious is a beast! I was so convicted. When a flaw is pointed out in my make up, I try to step back and see if there's some truth or is the self refection unwarranted. Either way, I wasn't cool. My friend was upset (un-necessarily) and I'm looking like an ass. The point I'm trying to get to is this, I'm not perfect - you're not perfect. We are going to make mistakes, but don't be AFRAID or too PROUD to make AMENDS. If you messed up, admit it and go on. But, after all that, LEARN from the mistake. If you don't learn from it, you will repeat it and cause more damage to yourself and anyone else involved. Sorry, but I don't want that spirit of malice residing in my soul. Recognizing it is the first step though. I know a lot of folks that don't want to admit that they are as my big sis Ms Gloria says, "Low Down Dirty Folks"! AMEN! But, there is a little low down in all of us - TRUTH be told. Before you start moving furniture around in someone's crib, make sure your own house is in order. That might shut a couple of us up...at least for a while. lol! Every circumstance good, bad or indifferent is here to help you walk in purpose and PURPOSE is what I'm on right now! The test comes as I learn from this mistake and make sure that I UPLIFT, ENCOURAGE and help my friends instead of tearing them down. I have to be real aware of when I might be getting out of hand with my conversation and better yet, just shut my mouth. You can't control others, but you can control yourself. Make an effort this week to speak LIFE into the people around you. You'll be amazed to how the blessings come back.

Be blessed